Is it a real luxury watch?

Brother, it's $24 and it says PARTY TIME. If you have to ask, the answer is yes.

Why does it say "PARTY TIME"?

We asked the watch to stop. It won't. At this point we respect it.

Is it waterproof?

It's water-adjacent. It can be near water. It watched a guy named Tucker do a backflip into a quarry and it was fine. Tucker was not.

How long does the battery last?

Yes.

Can I wear it to a wedding?

You can wear it to YOUR wedding. We've seen it done ten times. Same wedding. The Groomsmen pack exists for a reason.

Is this a real company?

Legally, yes. Emotionally, absolutely. Architecturally, no — there is no building. There was almost a building. Long story. Ask Tucker.

What happens if I wear two at once?

You'd know the time twice. Some say you'd feel it in two time zones simultaneously. We can't recommend it and we can't stop thinking about it.

Can I speak to a manager?

The manager is the founder. The founder is busy admiring the watch. Email your grievance; it will be read aloud, dramatically, at headquarters (a spare room).

What is your return policy?

30 days, no questions asked. One guy returned it because it "knew too much." No questions. Not even that time.

Is it good for interviews?

Wear the sleeve over it. If the interview goes well, reveal it. If the interview goes great, they already saw it and said nothing. Those are your people.

Will this watch fix my life?

Chase bought one and woke up owning a nightclub in Ibiza. We are legally required to say results are not typical. Results are not typical. (Chase says hi.)

Is the $24 negotiable?

A man once offered $23. We shook his hand, looked him in the eye, and charged him $24. He respected it. We framed the dollar he didn't save.

Do you sell my data?

We barely have data. We know your shirt size is probably "shirt." That's it. That's the file.

What time is it right now?

Nice try. $24.